A chapter from the story I never spoke about

It is said that goodbyes are hard to bear, but in my case, she never said me good bye. She walked away, his hand wrapped around her shoulders. The strong muscular arm which once became my safe place is now providing warmth to another girl whom he says he loves more than the world. Little did she know about her life so far. The girl whom I protected like a flower for 14 years is now walking away with the man who promised to make her life a better place. I wish I could tell her that on one beautiful summer afternoon, I too fell into his words and made my life a living hell.

I sighed as I wiped away a tear rolling down my cheeks. The end of a two years fight to claim the right. The fight which I never wanted to fight. Destiny’s always played with me and I was always the helpless character in the web of life. I was always put into vulnerable situations where I’ve had no choices at all. First it was about choosing my career, then marriage and now custody. I’ve seen my dreams fading away right before my eyes like a rainbow loosing it’s colors. I’ve always settled down in life without fighting back for what I deserve. But not anymore. This time I’ll fight back, because now it’s not about my life. It’s about my daughter’s life.

Ever since he knew that Seyni was alive he made sure that he’ll never let us live in peace. He did everything possible to create misunderstandings between me and my daughter and as a result she chose him. Seyni was the sun in my sky, my world revolved around her and she was the reason I breathed with happiness every day. But now my breath is heavy and tears smudged my eyes. The flashbacks of the nostalgic past spent with my daughter played like a slow movie right in front of my eyes.

I still remember that gloomy morning, dressed in a white saree in a low ponytail I walked along the silent court corridors with a faint smile which I never knew will be lost so soon. Seyni walked beside me. No smile, no tears, the usual laughter was long lost and she no longer held my hand when walking. We shared a glance at each other as we stood in front of the court room.

“Darling I love you a lot. I can’t force you to stay with me, but please, please take the right decision. You are my world Seyni, I can’t live without you…” I could not continue, he interrupted us.

“So finally! My daughter will be mine today. Common Seyni darling, come to dada.” He said with a smile in his face.

Seyni rushed to him with her hands wide open.

“Dada!” she laughed as he tickled her. For a moment I was happy seeing them together, but the next moment I was overtaken by a wave of misery.

“What if she chose him? Will I never be able to see her?” Several thoughts came to my mind and I was lost in an equivocal interlude.

Time passed and my worst nightmare came true. The tiniest ray of hope which was alive within me vanished in thin air creating havoc in my life. She chose him. My little angel whom I nurtured for 14 years, chose her dada over me.

I watched silently as they walked away with a silent prayer in my heart.

“Dear god, please don’t erase my place in her heart.”

By Erangika Gunathilaka