How to show your Sri Lankan parents you’re independent…

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will.” — Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre.

One of the main problems we have here in Sri Lanka is that Sri Lankan parents don’t allow their kids to be independent. They don’t seem to want their kids to stray away from home, and therefore, won’t give them the freedom they need, and maybe it’s in their best interest to ensure their kids’ safety, but do they know if it’s the best thing for their kids? It doesn’t seem like it. Their attachment issues have gotten the better of them. Unfortunately.

However, us kids may have a chance at proving to them that we need to be independent and that we deserve our freedom.

Here are a few tips and tricks…

1. Act older than your years

This could be a great way to prove your parents you’re independent. If you’re 16 years old, but you act like a 10-year-old, don’t expect your parents to trust you with more responsibility. You need to prove that you’re responsible, you have to earn their trust and you do this with your actions. It’s understandable that you’re still young, and it’s okay to have a good time, but if you want your parents to give you more freedom and responsibility you need to prove that you can handle things on your own.

2. Take the initiative with little things

Another great way to convince your parents that you can handle more responsibility is to take the initiative with little things. In simpler words, don’t wait until your parents tell you to clean your room, do the laundry or other chores around the house. If you see something that needs to be done, do it without hesitation. This can include taking the initiative and following a recipe to prepare dinner or even cleaning out the garage, and putting away garbage.

3.  Gain their trust by obeying rules

Obeying house rules is hard, and gaining your parents’ trust is harder. Earning their trust takes time, especially if you’ve made big mistakes in the past. One of the best ways to gain their trust is by obeying their rules. Regardless of how old-fashioned or outdated your parents’ rules may seem, it’s their house. So, if your dad says be home by 11 PM, don’t go walking in the door at 11:10 PM or 11:30 PM. And if your parents say you can’t date until you’re 17, don’t date for their eyes and ears. If you know what I mean/You can always keep it a secret 😉

4. Don’t hang out with reckless people

If your parents don’t trust your friends, they sometimes might question your activity and whereabouts when you’re hanging out with them. So, it’d be best if you have a heart-to-heart with your parents and ask how they feel about your associates. Your parents may feel your friends are rude or a bad influence. You need to properly consider whether their concerns are valid or whether your parents are just being paranoid. However, if they are valid, it might be time to choose a different set of friends.

5.  Avoid doing things your parents don’t like

Maybe your parents have made it clear what they like and what they don’t like, and sometimes you can’t help but do those exact things to simply annoy them. However, if you repeatedly ignore their feelings on certain subjects, it might be harder for your folks to let go and give you more freedom.

6.  Show your parents you’re capable of taking care of yourself

If your mom cooks every meal for you, does your laundry and cleans your room, don’t expect your parents to give you more responsibility. In their eyes, you can’t even take care of yourself, much less, be responsible. This all goes back to taking the initiative. Get a part-time job as soon as you’re old enough and purchase your own clothes, food and pay your own phone bill.

7.  Keep your cool when upset

Your family is going to get on your nerves from time to time. Regardless of whether you’re right, always maintain your cool. Being able to stay calm under pressure is a sign of maturity, and if you can show that you’re mature, it’ll be easier for your parents to give you more freedom and responsibility. Growing up is hard, especially if your parents continuously treat you like a little kid. But as you mature and become more independent, your parents will realize you’re becoming an adult who can handle more responsibility.

The above mentioned are a few suggestions of how you can prove to your parents you can be independent. If you have any real-life experiences or suggestions you’d like to share please do let us know by tweeting us @ChokMagazine with the #IndependencefromParents .