Do you ever feel like your friend is ignoring you or being a little distant sometimes? Or maybe he or she doesn’t hang out with you or anyone else as often as they used to. There could be multiple reasons for this. Maybe they’re having family issues, maybe they can’t be honest with you or they’re feeling guilty about something. Or it could be something else even. And one of the reasons could be that your friend is going through depression.

Depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and sometimes a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease your ability to function at work and at home. So, if your bestie is going through depression, there are certain signs you need to keep a lookout for.

1.  They’re pessimistic about the future
   

Does your friend feel hopeless about their future? When you ask secretly-depressed people about their plans, they’d either act dismissive, curt or avoidant. But in truth, they often struggle to find meaning in their life and instead view it in a negative light. They likely have thought hard about it, but they always seem to end up just short of making sense of it. These feelings stem from a feeling of inadequacy and can cause mental anguish to both them and their close friends.

2. They have a hard time concentrating
   

Do you often lose your friend’s attention when you speak with them? Are they losing their train of thought during conversations way too often? This shows memory and concentration issues, a common symptom of depression. This worsened memory state makes it even harder for them to have an honest chat with their friends and family. Since it’s hard and draining for them to articulate it, they end up pushing their thoughts aside and further concealing their burdens, which doesn’t solve any problems. It helps when you can make a safe space for your friend for an honest conversation. Being patient with their scattered thoughts gives them confidence that you’re there for them.

3. Their body undergoes big changes

Does your friend sometimes complain about pains and aches around their body despite the absence of external injuries? While depression is primarily a mental health issue it can present itself in our bodies too. Gaining or losing weight are some signs of depression, as well as backaches, digestive problems, headaches and chronic conditions. Research reports that people with masked depression are more prone to common pain than those who don’t suffer from the illness. So, if they have unexplainable aches and are in a constant downcast mood, depression might be something they’re facing.

4. They get unusually quiet

Does it feel like your friend’s energy has been sapped for seemingly no reason? While it’s normal to just have nothing to say at times, a pattern of long silences may be a sign of something stirring up underneath. While asking them whether they’re fine could temporarily bring their minds back to reality, they’ll eventually resort back to keeping everything to themselves as a coping mechanism. They may not feel sad, per se, but instead feel a pervading feeling of dread and emptiness, internally asking themself, “What’s the point?” Although they try to appear normal and could successfully do so, enjoying a conversation with friends still feels different. They’d much rather retreat to the solace of silence instead.

5. They keep conversations surface level

Does it sometimes feel like your friend has a brick wall put up? Secretly-depressed people can enjoy and have normal conversations, but when you pry on their innermost insecurities, they can feel the burn of the pain again, which forces them to hole back up. Feelings of betrayal from the past could resurface, transporting them back to how bad it felt during a time when they felt the brunt of the impact. Although their composure doesn’t waiver and they don’t break down or lash out, they’ll stick with the solace of safe topics because they know those topics won’t ever hurt them.

6. They smile to hide their pain away

Does your friend tend to brush off their feelings and smile them away instead? What makes depression more sinister is the ease with which one can hide it all behind a smile. They force a facade of happiness to free others from the burden of dealing with their problems. However, there are times where signs of this facade show behind the cracks and reveal a shell of a lonely, sad, and hurting human in its wake. In cases like this, sharing your concern with them and offering them emotional support may help them significantly. While it might feel like prodding into their business, they need to hear it’s okay to share their burden with others. In times like these, knowing your near and dear ones support you can help to a great degree emotionally and might also encourage them to seek professional help. So, it’s better to let them know that you’re there for them, but not push the conversation any further if they are unwilling.

Please note that these signs are for informative purposes only. They’re not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional if you’re struggling or if you know anyone who is.

Article by Nathuli Malwana

The post 6 SIGNS THAT YOUR BESTIE’S HIDING THEIR DEPRESSION appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.

January 20^th 2022. That was the day I was officially seizure free for 1 year, for the first time in my life, I had gone an entire year without ending up in an emergency room. Although for the first time in a long time, things were going well for me healthwise and mentally, it was a long and tough road to get here. February 14^th 2022 is International Epilepsy day and this article goes out to anyone out there struggling with the same illness, or anyone who has a loved one who goes through it.

I was diagnosed in 2005, unlike most cases, my epilepsy was brought on by Japanese Encephalitis. I was not born with it. I was constantly in and out of hospital. I was on medication from the start.

For years I took my medicines regularly and was stable, I still believed that this condition could not be cured. Imagine that, my mom constantly having to tell me I could not be cured everytime a younger me would ask if I could get brain surgery. Things were not easy for my family because of my condition, but they are my pillars of strength.

In 2019 I consulted a new doctor who told me that the doctors who had been treating me up until then, were wrong, I could be cured, they had been giving me the wrong doses of medication. This made things very hard for me, the medication had affected my memory, my school career my weight and my other physical weaknesses when I was younger. When I started working it still affected my memory, but I have a better grasp on things. I am not allowed to go anywhere on my own, which is okay, because every day my parents must live with the fear of something happening to me.

What most people don’t see is how Epilepsy has affected my mental health. Later on in life my epilepsy also started to cause depression. That was when things got bad. As I got older I would start to feel numb about a lot of things, it wasn’t until my new doctor that I learned that my epilepsy was connected to my mental health and that was what would cause my bouts of depression and anger. This opened my eyes a lot. At the same time it made me realize I cant cure one because I have the other. So that sucks.

Things that have helped me are the things I am passionate about. The things I love such as TV, Movies and music have been a great comfort to me and helped me a lot over the years. But most importantly it’s my family and friends that help me the most and keep me going. My friends are always there for me to talk to, and my family is there by my side each and every step of my journey.

Years ago, after having an aura and managing to control it myself I realized I needed to be my own anchor and take control of my epilepsy. Now whenever I get a feeling, I remind myself I am in control. Certain things can trigger a seizure such as flashing lights, exertion, getting stressed or overly emotional, getting too tired and as my mom likes to remind me, not taking my medicine regularly, and the worst part is you can have a seizure when you least expect it. I have had one at school, at a friend’s house, at a party, at work, while out with friends and once, at an Ed Sheeran concert. So no matter where I go, I always have the constant feeling looming at the back of my mind, no matter where I am or who I’m with I’ll be thinking “Will I have a seizure?”

Now in 2022 I am doing much better; I am on different doses of different medications which has been helping to control my seizures. I have learned to accept my epilepsy and I work towards the day I never have to take medication again.

These are a few things you can do to support someone who has epilepsy:

• Learn about epilepsy.
• Learn seizure first aid.
• Sometimes they just want to talk
• Ask what you can do to help.
• Just be there for them after a seizure has occurred, they’ll need the support
• They could be going through a mental health crisis so it’s best to check in on the

This is what you can do when a loved one is having a seizure:

• Lay the person down on his or her side
• Place a cushion under the person’s head
• Loosen the person’s clothing, especially around the neck
• Clear the area around the person of anything hard or sharp to prevent injury.
• Check for a medical ID bracelet for special instructions
• Monitor the person’s vital signs
• Time the seizure
• Keep yourself and others calm
• Stay with the person until emergency personnel arrive
• You should NOT try to restrain the person, place anything in the person’s mouth, or try to move the person.

Always remember, someone’s illness does not define them. I am more than my seizures. You are too.

The post Shamindri De Sayrah: More Than Seizures appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will.” — Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre.

One of the main problems we have here in Sri Lanka is that Sri Lankan parents don’t allow their kids to be independent. They don’t seem to want their kids to stray away from home, and therefore, won’t give them the freedom they need, and maybe it’s in their best interest to ensure their kids’ safety, but do they know if it’s the best thing for their kids? It doesn’t seem like it. Their attachment issues have gotten the better of them. Unfortunately.

However, us kids may have a chance at proving to them that we need to be independent and that we deserve our freedom.

Here are a few tips and tricks…

1. Act older than your years

This could be a great way to prove your parents you’re independent. If you’re 16 years old, but you act like a 10-year-old, don’t expect your parents to trust you with more responsibility. You need to prove that you’re responsible, you have to earn their trust and you do this with your actions. It’s understandable that you’re still young, and it’s okay to have a good time, but if you want your parents to give you more freedom and responsibility you need to prove that you can handle things on your own.

2. Take the initiative with little things

Another great way to convince your parents that you can handle more responsibility is to take the initiative with little things. In simpler words, don’t wait until your parents tell you to clean your room, do the laundry or other chores around the house. If you see something that needs to be done, do it without hesitation. This can include taking the initiative and following a recipe to prepare dinner or even cleaning out the garage, and putting away garbage.

3.  Gain their trust by obeying rules

Obeying house rules is hard, and gaining your parents’ trust is harder. Earning their trust takes time, especially if you’ve made big mistakes in the past. One of the best ways to gain their trust is by obeying their rules. Regardless of how old-fashioned or outdated your parents’ rules may seem, it’s their house. So, if your dad says be home by 11 PM, don’t go walking in the door at 11:10 PM or 11:30 PM. And if your parents say you can’t date until you’re 17, don’t date for their eyes and ears. If you know what I mean/You can always keep it a secret

4. Don’t hang out with reckless people

If your parents don’t trust your friends, they sometimes might question your activity and whereabouts when you’re hanging out with them. So, it’d be best if you have a heart-to-heart with your parents and ask how they feel about your associates. Your parents may feel your friends are rude or a bad influence. You need to properly consider whether their concerns are valid or whether your parents are just being paranoid. However, if they are valid, it might be time to choose a different set of friends.

5.  Avoid doing things your parents don’t like

Maybe your parents have made it clear what they like and what they don’t like, and sometimes you can’t help but do those exact things to simply annoy them. However, if you repeatedly ignore their feelings on certain subjects, it might be harder for your folks to let go and give you more freedom.

6.  Show your parents you’re capable of taking care of yourself

If your mom cooks every meal for you, does your laundry and cleans your room, don’t expect your parents to give you more responsibility. In their eyes, you can’t even take care of yourself, much less, be responsible. This all goes back to taking the initiative. Get a part-time job as soon as you’re old enough and purchase your own clothes, food and pay your own phone bill.

7.  Keep your cool when upset

Your family is going to get on your nerves from time to time. Regardless of whether you’re right, always maintain your cool. Being able to stay calm under pressure is a sign of maturity, and if you can show that you’re mature, it’ll be easier for your parents to give you more freedom and responsibility. Growing up is hard, especially if your parents continuously treat you like a little kid. But as you mature and become more independent, your parents will realize you’re becoming an adult who can handle more responsibility.

The above mentioned are a few suggestions of how you can prove to your parents you can be independent. If you have any real-life experiences or suggestions you’d like to share please do let us know by tweeting us @ChokMagazine with the #IndependencefromParents .

The post HOW TO SHOW YOUR SRI LANKAN PARENTS YOU’RE INDEPENDENT BY NATHULI MALWANA appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.

By Shamindri De Sayrah

What is Epilepsy?
Epilepsy is a neurological condition that disrupts the normal electrical activity our brains use to communicate with the rest of the body. This disruption causes seizures.
There are over 40 different types of seizure and every young person’s epilepsy is unique to them. In order to be diagnosed with epilepsy, a young person must have had at least two seizures.
In most cases, epilepsy is well managed and seizures are controlled, but it is a very serious condition and can be life-threatening. Epilepsy is the fourth most common neurological disorder and affects people of all ages.

Understanding Epilepsy
Epilepsy doesn’t just affect a young person when they’re having a seizure, it can affect them every day. It can have an impact on their learning, behavior, emotions and relationships.
Something to remember is that teens with Epilepsy are four times more likely to experience a mental health problem than other young people. Which can result in depression, anxiety etc. being brought on as a side effect.
Seizures can occur at any given moment, so its always a good thing to be prepared. When you have epilepsy the constant fear of having a seizure can be worse than a seizure itself.

What can trigger a seizure?
Here are some of the seizure triggers that have been reported by people with epilepsy:

• Not taking epilepsy medicine as prescribed
• Feeling tired and not sleeping well
• Stress
• Exerting yourself physically
• Alcohol and recreational drugs
• Flashing or flickering lights
• Missing meals
• Having an illness which causes a high temperature

How can I help someone having a seizure?
Keep other people out of the way – They don’t need an audience
Clear hard or sharp objects away from the person – The person will not be aware of what they are doing and they could hurt themselves or others
Don’t try to hold them down or stop movements – Give them room and time, they will calm down eventually.
Immediately place them on their side – To help keep airway clear and to keep them from choking. Don’t put anything in their mouth.
Look at your watch or phone at the start of the seizure – Make sure you time its length.
Most importantly, be there for them once it’s done.

My Epilepsy story
Living with this diagnosis also meant having to live in fear. Fear of when my next seizure would occur, and not just how it would affect me, but how it would affect those around me. “Will it happen while I’m out with my friends?” “Will it happen while I’m at work?” “Will it happen at school?” “Will it happen while I’m at the movies?” The sad truth is, a seizure can happen when you least expect it. It’s the before and after that’s the worst.
My epilepsy has affected my mental health, my memory, my studies, my weight and basically life in general. When I was younger things were a lot worse, my seizures were more frequent, much stronger and lasted much longer, and I couldn’t stop them. I spent so much of my life in hospital, and it wasn’t just me going through this, it was my family too. 15 years later and I’m much better, better than I have been in years when it comes to my epilepsy, thanks to a new doctor and new meds. I haven’t had a seizure since January 2020. I’m still learning new things about my diagnosis and myself, but one important thing to remember to anyone who has the same diagnosis, never let having epilepsy define who you are or who you should be. That is entirely up to you.

For more information visit https://www.epilepsy.com/ or https://www.youngepilepsy.org.uk/.
When you live with epilepsy, uncertainty is the new normal.

The post Supporting Young People With Epilepsy appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.

Mental Health. I’m sure you have all heard of this term at least once (if not  more) by now. Mental health is vital at all stages of life. All the way from  childhood, adolescence and right through adulthood, yet it’s no secret there  is a social and cultural stigma behind this term. However, the real question is  why? Why is there a stigma? Why is this such a big issue to begin with? Why  are so many people speaking out about this issue?  

Let’s start simply.  

What is mental health and why is it so important to world right now?  

What is mental health and why is it important? 

Officially, the World Health Organization (WHO) defines it as “a state of well being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with  the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to  make a contribution to his or her community”. In other words it’s how you are  doing (your health) emotionally and psychologically. Mental health effects  how we think, feel, and act. All in all, it basically effects how we carry out  our day to day activities and responsibilities. This is exactly why the  maintenance of our mental health is super important. I can not stress this  enough. It’s like food, if you don’t eat properly and maintain your fitness and  health properly, you’re going to end up hurting yourself and you won’t even  realize it until it gets really bad. In the long term, mental health can effect  your mood, behavior, how you respond to issues etc.  

Around 1 in 4 humans will be diagnosed with a mental health issue in their  life time. Around 33% of students suffer from serious depression and 39% of  students struggle with at least one mental illness. A shocking minimum of 8 

million people die every single year due to mental illness. These statistics are  shocking, but there are ways we as children and as figures part of a narrow  minded society can change these for the better, reshape mindsets and how  society judges mental illness. Let’s talk about the stigma first. 

The Stigma  

Many people are shamed and disgraced for having a  mental health issue. There is a huge, unhealthy  stigma going around society regarding mental  health. This can be due to two reasons: 

1.They don’t fully understand, and are scared to truly understand  

2.They just don’t want to except it  

Let me say this first. It is okay to not be okay! It is  practically impossible to be happy and jumpy every single second of your life. We all have to fight our fair share of battles, but in the end that makes us who we are. It’s important to understand and accept what’s wrong, and fix it. We all need help at one point in our lives. We  shouldn’t be ashamed of it. However, that is exactly what this social and  cultural stigma is doing to people. They become scared to ask for help, and  in the end they’re going to destroy themselves inside out, and it becomes  very frustrating, even life threatening!  

What we need to really understand is that we need to do what’s best for us  at times like that and forget about what everyone else is thinking. We have to  be selfish to get our selves better. More importantly, it’s vital to get the  correct type of help and see someone who can really help you. You could  have the most supportive family/friends, you could be successful in school  and work, you could be reaching your goals, you could be physically healthy  and frequently exercising, but there’s a chance you’d still what to do  something reckless. Why? Everyone is different. Everyone is unique.  Everyone has different needs. What worked for you will not work for someone else. Don’t just assume,  

“Oh okay, I’m being supportive and  I’m there for them, he/she is looking okay, their fine.” They’re not.  People who have a mental illness  are not weak minded—they are sick. Understand this.  

Lets bring this into context now. Sri Lanka. There’s is a huge taboo regarding mental illness in Sri Lanka. Many children’s in rural areas suffer from mental illness because they  are constantly putting themselves under stress and pressure from a young  age as the competition to get good jobs is extremely high. As a result kids  mental health is extremely unsatisfactory. They are not educated on the issue  of ‘Mental Health’ sometimes they don’t even know something is wrong to 

begin with. We need to understand this could be life threatening.  

Then comes the culture. Kids are constantly  under pressure to do well. I’m sure as students we all can understand this. However this gets worse, when it does—it seems impossible to carry on with simple day to day activities like  getting out of bed. You don’t want to go to school and so on. It really isn’t a comfortable position to be in. So we decide to speak to our parents because at this age, that’s who we feel most comfortable to tell things to. This is where it gets worse. Kids are out down, shamed and called  ‘dramatic’ when they try to voice out their feelings and opinions to their  parents. It ends up breaking them down even more. The minute the child  shows signs of depression, the parent/guardian are more likely to suppress  those feelings than actually talk about it and try to find a solution, go to a  doctor and get some help. You should not be ashamed of having a mental  illness. It’s not like your shamed every single time you catch a cold right?  Get. The. Help. You. Need. Culture in Sri Lanka has to change. Now.  Otherwise we’ll be heading down a bottomless pit, and when we realize it, a  life will be lost or it’ll be too late. Just remember you are worth your life and  never contemplate about that because of what someone’s making you feel.  

COVID-19. During this pandemic that is still continuing around the world  claiming a countless amount lives we were all forced into quarantine. Now  for most of us it was fun to stay at home and not go to school, but that  wasn’t the case for all of us. It’s no secret that being locked in your house for  two and a half months—maybe more—was tiring and boring, with only your  family to interact with, but with people struggling and fighting their own  personal battles—it was ten times  harder. Not being able to communicate with anyone, being confined to one single space can heighten loneliness and can perhaps result in depression. Many people get there thoughts and feelings out by going out, talking to different people face to face and just getting out of the place that makes them feel alone helps them cope with the emotions their feeling. Bring stuck in a house with their thoughts is like being stuck in a cardboard box with no outlets. It was suffocating for them. 1 in 6 people experienced a common mental health problem such as depression or anxiety in the past week. That being said, it’s important that we acknowledge their efforts, and even if you know someone that is struggling like this—reach out, talk to them and give them the help they need. Remember “Pain strengthens and fear drives faith.” This quarantine has most definitely taken  a toll on everyone, so it’s important we remind ourselves of humanity and  hospitality and help each other out. This hasn’t been easy for any of us.  

We are the next generation that can make this change. We have the power to  break the stereotypes, stigmas, culture, taboo…whatever it is or whatever  you want to call it, to help each other, to get better. To help humanity get  better as a whole, and normalize ‘Mental Illness and Mental Health’. This will  benefit us to extents we can not even imagine.  

So what can you do?  

To start, let’s focus on three things:  

1. How to fight the stigma  
2. How to help someone with mental illness  
3. How to help yourself if you are going through a mental illness 

HOW TO FIGHT THE STIGMA!

• Talk openly about mental health and don’t be afraid of judgment
• Educate and Enlighten- educate your self and spread awareness  • Be cautious of what you say at  stay factually correct, and do not offend anyone

• Be honest about going for treatment and make people feel comfortable

• Choose empowerment over shame

• Support equality between  physical illness and mental illness

• Acknowledge and show compassion for those with mental illnesses  • Speak out against media if you realize they are stigmatizing 

How to help someone with mental illness

• When your with them, focus only on them—no distractions  • Let them share as much or as little as they want to— don’t push it  • Do not second guess their feelings  
• Listen carefully to what they tell you  
• Keep questions open ended  
• Talk about wellbeing  
• Offer them help on seeking professional help (make them feel comfortable  about it)  
• Know your limits (respect what they tell you and don’t push for more)  3. How to help yourself if you are going through a mental illness
• Talk, get it out, don’t bottle it up. Speak to someone you trust  • Stay active and eat well  
• Stay in touch with people and spend time doing things you enjoy and love  • Get professional help/advice  
• Take time for yourself and relax for a bit (depressed —> deep-rest )  • Care for others and accept who you are  
• Don’t be afraid of opinions  

As kids, we are the future generation, we have the power to make a change  if we can be passionate about this issue. Use your voices for the better and  help create a positive change in society. Save lives.  

Challenge the taboo.  

Let’s break the stigma.

By Chathma Punchihewa 

The post Let’s Break The Stigma appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.

Being organized is Being in Control 

All of us are probably sick and tired of hearing the word PANDEMIC,  like come on, isn’t this thing ever going to end???

No matter what happens we still need life to go on and for us to do what we always did. Life sure must go on, catering to the new normal of course. 

One of the main aspects of lifting your spirits is by understanding the situation and trying out new ways to keep your focus. You’ll need some self pampering  to relax your mind, body and soul. 

If your surroundings portrait a negative, unhealthy, messy environment your mind would never be able to bring out its creativity. 

The best way to do so is by being a minimalist , decluttering  and getting rid of the unnecessary and having a designated place for everything around you. Remove things that can be toxic so that you’ll only focus on positivity and those that will rekindle the many hidden talents within you. 

Let’s look at ways to de stress, declutter and detoxify around us

1. Plan, plan and plan – nothing can ever go wrong if you have a plan and work accordingly 
2. Look around and remove anything that doesn’t spark an interest within you. 
3. Gift or donate anything you have two or more of. 
4. Stay healthy,  hydrated and fit
5. Listen 

Plan, plan and plan

What better way to stay focused and organized than planning. It saves a lot of time and effort when we plan and prioritize what we ought to do. It can even help prevent a huge messy situation. Also when we plan, get done and tick off once it is over the satisfaction is priceless. You’ll never regret forgetting things if you put them down in the first place. 

Removing the things that don’t bring out a spark

Look around for cues of things that have been laying around for years and you haven’t touched. Be it books, clothing, old keepsakes, stationery,  accessories to anything you find, have a look at them individually. If they don’t have a soft spot within you then it is time to either gift it, donate or discard it. 

Gift, donate of discard

You’ll never know the worth of something you’ve had in possession for years until you’ve gifted it. Our likes and interests vary from person to person. Therefore what was once your clutter could be a dream come true to another. We are drawn to pretty colourful things in life. Things such as accessories add glamour to our sense of fashion and we end up with more of the same thing. Too much of anything becomes good for nothing. If you could find someone and treat them with compassion, you are then regarded as the best of the best beings. To donate and help someone less fortunate can bring about a lot of happiness and prosperity into your own life. And what better way to get rid of than discard something that is broken, torn or cannot be fixed. But be mindful to dispose them off rightly. 

Health, hygiene and fitness

For better living we must take care of our body as well. Only then would we be both physically and mentally prepared to move forward in life and make the right decisions. Switch to nutritious diet plans that will not only keep you healthy but also fit. Starving yourself is not staying healthy.  Research and identify your body type. You also can seek professional help. 

Staying clean can help you overcome a lot of unnecessary illnesses. But be careful when trying out cleanliness and hygiene products out there. Some of them can be very harmful. Choose what suits you best. Remember you are beautiful in any shape, form or size. To be hygienic doesn’t mean you need to rip your hair , skin or bone. 

Listen

Listen, listen to yourself,  your inner voice. If it has got something to tell you then LISTEN. No one knows you better than yourself. If you are trying to force yourself to try something out and your gut feeling says otherwise, reconsider,  give it a break and come back and try again. If it is saying hell no, then definitely that is not meant to be. 

Listen to your soul. If it ain’t satisfied look for ways you could please it. Recess situations and goals you focus on. If it actually doesn’t bring you any happiness or satisfaction, why waste time. Instead focus on the things that let You be You. Look for ways to explore what’s hidden deep within you. Look for things to do that’ll bring out the creative weirdo in you. 

Life is a journey,  make the best of the time you are here. Now go get de-stressed, detoxified and decluttering!

By Amana Ifthikar Fawaz

The post DE-STRESS , DECLUTTER TO DETOXIFY appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.

and greet

my reflection

instead of looking

past the girl

in the mirror.

All she ever wanted

Was her own love”

• Jeanne Cecilia 

All these quotes about loving yourself; what does loving yourself mean?

Self-love is romanticized as taking bubble baths, doing a face mask,  lighting scented candles, enjoying a cup of coffee while reading your favorite book, going for a jog, finding clothes you like, treating yourself to a spa day, and good food.

But in reality, self-love isn’t all about just pampering yourself. So what is self-love? Is it looking in the mirror to see anything except a blemish? Is it feeling confident in where you are in life? Is it speaking kindly to yourself and others, being aware enough to enforce your boundaries?

The truth is, self-love is not just a pretty physical process. It includes deeper analysis and acceptance of who you are as a person, your flaws, your weaknesses but also your strengths and attributes. Acceptance of the reality of the person you truly are is the first step in starting to love yourself.  But is there a way to really and truly love ourselves 100%? Maybe, maybe not. While we can be slightly (even more than slightly) judgmental about others occasionally, many of us have ourselves as our own worst critics. In fact, when we judge others and scrutinize their behavior, more often than not this occurs because you identify those traits in your behavior towards yourself.

There is a saying that those who have known and felt darkness can go either one of two ways: dwelling in the darkness with no attempt to change or spreading the light they wish had shined on them. If I’m being completely honest, this process of loving yourself can be awfully long and agonizing at times. There are days where I would laugh senseless with my friends only to be able to barely muster a smile the next day. Feelings of bitterness and frustrations about the person I’ve become are prominent on the days I feel consumed by my own darkness. In those moments I question my whole identity- who I truly am.

Have I found a solution for the thoughts and the pit of darkness I find myself in? Not entirely. But I am reminding myself that despite the grueling process, I have the choice to allow something beautiful to grow from it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow — but I’ll get there one day.

Moving on from all that despair, here are some tips I found useful in accepting who I am while being open to change:

• Be gentle with yourself

We’re always setting higher standards for ourselves in comparison to the standards we set for other. Often beating up ourselves for not being able to achieve something by a certain age, not being able to secure that win, not being able to top that class – the list goes on forever when it comes to criticizing ourselves. Instead, if only we were more gentle with ourselves, being more forgiving for not knowing better at that time, for not being strong enough or just plain enough at that time. Forgiving yourself for the survival patterns you’ve picked up while dealing with trauma is important. However, it is also important to be open to change the traits that have been toxic to yourself and others. 

• Avoid comparison

The most amount of comparison occurs through social media. To be completely upfront, social media fosters insecurity. “This person just bought a new phone, hey look he graduated with a first class, look at them always going out and having fun, look at her clear glowing skin etc” all this leads to an endless cycle of comparison while you sit at home trying to find a reason as to why you’re not enough.  There are so many people out there who expressively state that ‘social media is a highlight reel of their life’ while going on to post only face tuned pictures, constant celebrations leaving out anything and everything that may point at them having an ‘ordinary’ life. When you constantly compare yourself to others through their ‘highlight reel’ you have to realize its just that. A highlight reel. This is why it is so important to be real on social media. So many people get lost in a reality that doesn’t exist, obsessively chasing a life that is unattainable isn’t realistic. 

• Be open to change rather than staying broken

Most of us find it easier to stay broken rather than driving towards change. In really tackling our mental health, many have shared that there is a struggle to take the effort to make changes — for change requires greater effort in comparison to festering in the problem. It was easier to just adapt around the mirror because we already bought it, rather than needing to buy another mirror and admitting we screwed up with our purchase.
Sometimes what doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor. However, you are only stuck in that version of you if you allow yourself to be. Yes, you are used to act or be a certain way because these have helped you in the past. But the reason why you find yourself being unable to move forward is because you keep applying the same old formula to a new level in your life. Be unafraid to change this formula from your past to get you a different result in the future.

One day I hope you will be accepting of the person you are becoming and learn to love yourself unconditionally. I’ll end this rant with an extract I came across, one that managed to completely change my perspective of my image, body and just loving myself in general.

“One day I will die, and I won’t be there to see my funeral, but there are some things that I’m pretty sure of. No one will stand at the front and say, ‘I miss the cut and color of her hair and the way it fell upon her shoulders.’ No one will reflect on my height or weight or the size of my hips or my waist. No one will mention the texture of my skin. No one will laugh or cry remembering the whiteness level of my teeth. I know this because when I think of the people I love; those are the last things that come to my mind. Instead I think of patience, and kindness and humor and wisdom and cosmic capacities for grace. I think of memories where I forget what anyone was wearing, but I still feel the smile that was on my face. I’m guilty of getting it backwards and feeling as if the way I look is meant to be the most meaningful and interesting part of me. But I will keep coming back to the truth; those things that make days, and change lives and spread that good light- those are the things my mirror will never be able to reflect.” – Sophie Diener

By Kavindi Abeysundara

The post THE JOURNEY OF SELF LOVE appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.

Mental health awareness is something which should be in trend forever, in my point of view every day everyone of us should remember to take up this topic of suicide prevention or about getting suicidal thoughts and start spreading anything which is related to mental health every single day as much as we all can

Even in some point of our lives, some where we all said this to our selves or to someone who stood next to us either as in a normal way or in a serious tone but non of us really took it seriously or we still don’t!
Yes that is ” I just feel like dieing right now or I just want to end my life now “

When someone says this , most of us think its because they want to seek attention or they are just joking ..etc Yes 90% of people around this world think so and they just ignore it 

But we shouldn’t be like this anymore, someone thinks about ending their life and how we all take it just as normal and sometimes we laugh about it too

And sometimes in return people say “Go die , who cares” in a funny tone which they didn’t really meant it

But the person who listen to it won’t be taking it as normal they will definitely think of ending their life more at the moment, they will recall those words which you used as for fun

Every day in my life I see people who share about someone who ended their life by suicide but the most saddest thing is,  it sound really normal but truly it isn’t

In other side I’ve seen people who also talk about so many mental health issues mostly importantly suicide prevention talks so like how I do now but I would say we shouldn’t stop doing this

It’s us who play the major role in someone else’s life where they fell in to depression and lead a stressful lives , if we can be nice , stay kind and spread kindness we can make someone else day a little better! Also,

We all should start talking about preventing suicide, stopping someone from getting suicidal thoughts, stop encouraging your friend,your loved one or your family member to say ” I feel like dieing ” in a serious or in a funny tone

As much as you can stop being selfish in this matter of asking some one “Are you okay” / “how was your day” and keep encouraging your circle of people to be happy and that every one of us got problems and every single problem has a solution

That one careless mistake of ignoring someone can end up in a different way and you will be regretting for your life time about it

Feeling stressed about something, falling in depression is not normal as we all think the person who goes through is the one who knows the real pain of it but is it okay to leave it as it is? No way

LETS STAND TOGETHER FOR EACH OTHER AND THINK OF EVERYONES MENTAL HEALTH TOO!

By Zainab Mushtak

The post YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY , YOU ARE NOT ALONE appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.

Why should you block someone? I mean, do you really need a valid reason to block someone? Why does it bother someone so much when you block them? These are several questions that pop up when it comes to blocking. It looks like even people who have been using social media regularly for several years now still have not understood why they’d get blocked by someone.

Don’t let it bother you.

We have seen people getting bothered when a complete stranger they don’t even know or follow has blocked them. They’d take screenshots of that profile, share it publicly, asking, “why would someone I don’t even follow blocked me?”. First of all, why do you care if they blocked you? They probably have their own reason for doing that. Maybe they don’t want you to see what they share in their profile or don’t like what you share. Of course, you might not have harmed them at all, but still, if they decide to block you, it’s their own free will. If someone doesn’t want you to be a part of their life on their social media, then you should care less about it, instead of letting it bother you and showcasing it as a huge issue.

“Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.”

Reasons for blocking.

There can be millions of reasons why someone would block another on any social media. It could be anything from acting rude, racism, gender discrimination, hateful comments, invading privacy, sending inappropriate messages, sexual harassment, and the list keeps going on. All these apart, the main reason why people block someone is to keep themselves away from unnecessary drama and attention. Mostly it’s the victim who chooses to block first and thus is labeled as a weak person by the trolls. Just because someone chose to ignore your existence because of your behavior doesn’t make them vulnerable. In another way, they are keeping their game strong by blocking you and allowing them more freedom to talk about things they love. They’ll have one less person to worry about meddling and questioning them about their passion or preferences.

Blocking people can be considered as self-care. Your timeline needs an occasional clean-up where you remove the germs which cause you distress in any form. Thus, it should be giving you positive vibes instead of making you feel bad all day. Blocking someone means you are giving priority and attention to yourself. You don’t have to feel guilty at all about blocking someone. Also, there is no reason to explain yourself to others as to why you blocked someone. That is your feed, your own decision, and you are doing it for yourself!

Avoid the drama, enjoy the life.

One should know to differentiate real life and social media as two. You shouldn’t take your “online life” much seriously. On the other hand, you probably already have too many things to take care of and give attention to in your real life. If you let your online life bother your mind with unnecessary drama, you will definitely make your real life a mess. Don’t fall into that trap. Despite all the fun, beautiful memories, and friendships you made online, your real-life should always be your first priority.

Alas, blocking someone is not immature at all. It’s one of the best options out there to maintain your sanity and give more importance to yourself. Maybe the trolls will be happy once you block them, knowing that they could corner you to click that B button, but avoiding the unnecessary drama and going out to spend your precious time on yourself to enjoy your life is the most mature thing to do.

“Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”

by Shathir Naleer

The post Why haven’t you blocked them yet? appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.

Improved cognition

When we are socially engaged with those around us, our cognition levels also increase sharpening the dynamic status of the brain. Additionally, memory-related illnesses can be relieved and even prevented beforehand.

Improved physical health

When our body is healthy, our brain is healthy as well. When we fill our bodies with the right nutrition and exercise our bodies, we call lesser illnesses and ailments that tend to rise during old age. Remember, even social butterflies undergo the caterpillar stage of practice and work to achieve their goal.

Slowing health decline

According to a study in 2011, you can rejuvenate degenerating health due to social interactions. Hence, the participants showed lesser rates of solitude whereas the rest who did not take part in the study displayed signs of isolation.

Reduced stress levels

Did you know that when your stress levels sky-rocket, your blood pressure also takes a high note? We all know that cardiovascular issues are not our best buddies. However, when you spend time with others, your stress levels diminish, enhancing overall and better physical as well as emotional health.

It helps alleviate depression

Feelings of isolation are one of the biggest ways that make its way to depression. Many studies have proved that spiked signs of depression were seen in those that were secluded from mingling with others, even their family and friends. Whereas, on the contrary, those who spent quality time with those around them showed minor symptoms of depression and related ill mental health.

By Sheramy Pilapitiya

The post Positive Effects of Being Socially Active for Seniors appeared first on ChoKoLAAte Blog.