6 SIGNS THAT YOUR BESTIE’S HIDING THEIR DEPRESSION

Do you ever feel like your friend is ignoring you or being a little distant sometimes? Or maybe he or she doesn’t hang out with you or anyone else as often as they used to. There could be multiple reasons for this. Maybe they’re having family issues, maybe they can’t be honest with you or they’re feeling guilty about something. Or it could be something else even. And one of the reasons could be that your friend is going through depression.

Depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and sometimes a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease your ability to function at work and at home. So, if your bestie is going through depression, there are certain signs you need to keep a lookout for.

1.  They’re pessimistic about the future
   

Does your friend feel hopeless about their future? When you ask secretly-depressed people about their plans, they’d either act dismissive, curt or avoidant. But in truth, they often struggle to find meaning in their life and instead view it in a negative light. They likely have thought hard about it, but they always seem to end up just short of making sense of it. These feelings stem from a feeling of inadequacy and can cause mental anguish to both them and their close friends.

2. They have a hard time concentrating
   

Do you often lose your friend’s attention when you speak with them? Are they losing their train of thought during conversations way too often? This shows memory and concentration issues, a common symptom of depression. This worsened memory state makes it even harder for them to have an honest chat with their friends and family. Since it’s hard and draining for them to articulate it, they end up pushing their thoughts aside and further concealing their burdens, which doesn’t solve any problems. It helps when you can make a safe space for your friend for an honest conversation. Being patient with their scattered thoughts gives them confidence that you’re there for them.

3. Their body undergoes big changes

Does your friend sometimes complain about pains and aches around their body despite the absence of external injuries? While depression is primarily a mental health issue it can present itself in our bodies too. Gaining or losing weight are some signs of depression, as well as backaches, digestive problems, headaches and chronic conditions. Research reports that people with masked depression are more prone to common pain than those who don’t suffer from the illness. So, if they have unexplainable aches and are in a constant downcast mood, depression might be something they’re facing.

4. They get unusually quiet

Does it feel like your friend’s energy has been sapped for seemingly no reason? While it’s normal to just have nothing to say at times, a pattern of long silences may be a sign of something stirring up underneath. While asking them whether they’re fine could temporarily bring their minds back to reality, they’ll eventually resort back to keeping everything to themselves as a coping mechanism. They may not feel sad, per se, but instead feel a pervading feeling of dread and emptiness, internally asking themself, “What’s the point?” Although they try to appear normal and could successfully do so, enjoying a conversation with friends still feels different. They’d much rather retreat to the solace of silence instead.

5. They keep conversations surface level

Does it sometimes feel like your friend has a brick wall put up? Secretly-depressed people can enjoy and have normal conversations, but when you pry on their innermost insecurities, they can feel the burn of the pain again, which forces them to hole back up. Feelings of betrayal from the past could resurface, transporting them back to how bad it felt during a time when they felt the brunt of the impact. Although their composure doesn’t waiver and they don’t break down or lash out, they’ll stick with the solace of safe topics because they know those topics won’t ever hurt them.

6. They smile to hide their pain away

Does your friend tend to brush off their feelings and smile them away instead? What makes depression more sinister is the ease with which one can hide it all behind a smile. They force a facade of happiness to free others from the burden of dealing with their problems. However, there are times where signs of this facade show behind the cracks and reveal a shell of a lonely, sad, and hurting human in its wake. In cases like this, sharing your concern with them and offering them emotional support may help them significantly. While it might feel like prodding into their business, they need to hear it’s okay to share their burden with others. In times like these, knowing your near and dear ones support you can help to a great degree emotionally and might also encourage them to seek professional help. So, it’s better to let them know that you’re there for them, but not push the conversation any further if they are unwilling.

Please note that these signs are for informative purposes only. They’re not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional if you’re struggling or if you know anyone who is.

Article by Nathuli Malwana